According to Wikipedia, these monstrosities are made from sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, pectin, soy protein, food coloring and artificial flavor. I'm pretty sure that if you take out the sugar and corn syrup, you've got the same ingredients as a candle. In fact, I've bitten into a candle by accident (wax candle apple, true story) and I'm positive it tasted better.

In the past, we almost lost these evil Styrofoam impostors. Before the 40's, they were only available for a short time, because they would begin to decay (Yeah, no kidding.), and stores began to refuse to carry them. But with the advancement of polyethylene packaging, they were suddenly available year-round and will keep for, we assume, centuries. Yippee. Thanks, Science.

If you've never had one, I'll save you the trouble; They're soft and chewy, and despite their pale sickly orange color, they're supposed to be banana flavored. Yeah, we just threw up in our mouths a little, too.

But they're not as bad as: