Contact Us

Man’s 8-Month Erection Is Even More Ridiculous Than It Sounds

Erection
ThinkStock

Unlike the ‘Star Wars’ series, an erection should eventually end.

A 44-year-old truck driver from Newark, Delaware named Daniel Metzgar has gone to court seeking unspecified damages after a botched penile implant in 2009 left him with a woody that lasted eight months. That’s right – his stiffie almost went full term.

The boner proved so problematic Metzgar even had trouble getting his newspaper in the morning, which is ridiculous, because who the hell still gets a newspaper.

After the surgery, Metzgar’s scrotum ballooned to the size of a volleyball, which probably made it an ordeal to get behind the wheel of his big rig. Metzgar, though, was under the impression his fun bag may enlarge like a bag of microwave popcorn, so he waited a few months before seeking help.

Metzgar, who is married, sought to have the implant removed, but he lost his insurance after the procedure and didn’t have the 10 grand needed to pay for it, which resulted in the ultimate irony: he needed to raise funds so he could stop raising his unit. Kickstarter?

He wound up getting the device removed in 2010 after his scrotum burst during a family trip to Niagara Falls (and you thought the most embarrassing thing your dad did on vacation was wear socks and sandals). He has since gotten a different device, but the damage has been done. Scars from the initial procedure have made his winkie half as big and he claims he no longer gets the same pleasure he once did.

While testifying, Metzgar proved his ‘nads are as big as his third leg was when he said, “I could hardly dance, with an erection poking my partner.” And his other gem: “It’s not something you want to bring out at parties and show to friends.”

Well, depending on the party, maybe you do.

More from 103.7 The Loon

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://1037theloon.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on 103.7 THE LOON quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here.

Sign up for an account to comment, share your thoughts, and earn points to get great prizes.

Register on 103.7 THE LOON quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!