One of the busiest shopping days of the year is upon us. I will be skipping it due to the fact that my hatred for mankind outweighs my love of stuff. After seeing this, you're probably going to want to skip it, too.

Black Friday: Because only in America will we stab each other for cheap crap we don't need one day after giving thanks for everything we have. Stay home and stay inside. It's warm, there's a free bathroom you don't have to stand in line to use and you don't even have to put on pants. Also, you won't get trampled to death. It happens and people die. A cheap TV is not that important.