The 84th Academy Awards were hosted by Billy Crystal at the Kodak Theater last night, and in case you missed it, here is a run down of everything you need to know.

The red carpet was mostly uneventful, unless you are a fashion lover like me then last night was your version of the superbowl - yes I'm serious, I watched it live while it recorded to my DVR, then I watched it again.

So if you aren't a fashion freak like me then the only part worth talking about is when Sacha Baron Cohen stopped on the carpet to chat with Ryan Seacrest on E!. Sacha came dressed as 'The Dictator', which is the main character in his upcoming movie of the same name. Sacha was flanked by two flower girls and was holding an urn that he said held the ashes of North Korean leader Kim Jong Il. Cohen then purposely spilled the ashes all over Ryan Seacrest, he was immediately escorted out by security. Ryan looked a bit disturbed, but they took a break and he recovered nicely.

Moving on to the actual show, Billy Crystal's opening number was good but mostly predictable. I laughed exactly three times - when George Clooney kissed Billy to wake him from a coma ala 'The Descendants', when Justin Bieber showed up explaining to Billy that he was there to "get you the 18-24 demographic.", and when Billy welcomed everyone to the Chapter 11 theater. Is is sad that I can remember exactly when laughed? Let's move on...

'The Artist' was the big winner of the evening. This silent black and white movie looks so boring you couldn't pay me to see it - therefor it was the perfect movie to steal the show. The film took home five golden statues including: Best Picture, Best Director for Michel Hazanavicius, and Best Actor for Jean Dujardin.

Best Actress went to Meryl Streep for the film 'The Iron Lady'

In the supporting category Christopher Plummer won Best Supporting Actor for his work in 'Beginners' and Octavia Spencer was given the Best Supporting Actress award for 'The Help' in which she received the first standing ovation of the evening.

Chris Rock got big laughs when he presented Best Animated Feature which went to 'Rango'. Rock commented on how easy it is to go into the studio and record a few lines, and then get paid a million bucks.

Woody Allen was a no-show but picked up Best Original Screen Play for 'Midnight in Paris' and Best Adapted Screen Play went to Nat Faxon, Alexander Payne, and Jim Rash for 'The Descendants'.

Over all the Academy Awards were just OK, which is about as good as they ever get.