Dear Baxter, How Can You Tell if Your Girlfriend is Cheating?

Baxter,

I've been seeing this girl for a few months and at first things were great.  Lately, she seems to be busier than usual.  Some nights I can't get a hold of her.  One night I drove by her place and thought I saw my best friends car in front of her house. When I confronted her, she assured me it was the neighbor's car. I don't think she'd lie to me. I try and be a good boyfriend and pay her rent and cover most of her bills, etc. So how do you know if your girlfriend is cheating on you?

Jason    St Cloud, MN

Jason,

You poor dumb bastard.  First of all, I don't have a girlfriend, my wife strictly forbids it. Of course she's cheating on you. Dump her as asap.  Better yet, dump her the day her rent is due.  I say dump her for two reasons.  Number one, she's using you and you'll never have peace of mind as long as you are with her.  Number two, scares me to death you will procreate and we are way over our limit for dumb people. Hope this helps, although I have my doubts.

Baxter

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