Drew Darkwell’s Signature “Artery Clogger Pizza” Recipe
I’ve learned throughout my first few years of adulthood, that it’s always good to have a food plan when you’re drinking with your friends. Picture this – it’s 3 in the morning on a weekend, and you and your buddies have just polished off several cases of beer.
The peak of the get-together is now over and then, out of nowhere, hunger sets in. No one was smart enough to fill up on food before hand, and now everyone in the house is on the verge of starving to death.
You know that nothing would be as satisfying at that moment than sharing a nice, fattening, greasy meal with your buds, but it only takes a few moments for you to realize that no restaurants are open at such a late hour. Devastation creeps in, as you prepare to accept your fate.
But wait! A spark of inspiration hits you and you’re prepared to get innovative with the very few supplies you have in your kitchen. Let's be honest – we’ve all been there. Well dear reader, I’ve been in this situation more than once in my life, and I’d like to share with you my recipe for a rather satisfying, albeit unhealthy dish. Here are the supplies needed:
- A frozen pizza (preferably large)
- Pepper jack and shredded cheddar cheese
- Sour cream
Step 1: Add an excessive amount of pepper jack and shredded cheddar cheese to pizza and insert it into the oven
Step 2: While pizza is cooking, fry up the sausage and bacon in a frying pan
Step 3: Roughly 10 – 12 minutes into bake time, remove the pizza and smother it in 3 scrambled eggs (raw)
Step 4: Add bacon, sausage, and mushrooms to the egg soaked pizza
Step 5: Add a tablespoon of sour cream to each potential slice and put back in oven for another 10 – 12 mins
Step 6: I cannot stress this step enough – at this point remove pizza and smother it in the grease that accumulated in the frying pan from the sausage and bacon. Yes, it’s insanely unhealthy – but this step insures that your meal will be nothing short of delectable
Step 7: Re-insert pizza into oven one final time for 5 – 10 mins to allow ingredients to meld together
Step 8: Remove pizza and enjoy!