Here’s Your Chance to Become a Real, Honest-to-Goodness, Paid Bacon Critic
What's that they say about getting paid to do what you love?
(Oh, yeah, you should find a job you love and get paid for it. Duh. Life isn't that simple, though, which is why you work in a cubicle for a company that makes or sells or buys something you're not sure of across from Doris in accounting, who's waaaaay too excited she can show off her new Keds this coming casual Friday. But we digress.)
Extra Crispy is currently hiring a freelance bacon critic to help its already comprehensive coverage of bacon. How wonderful is it to see those two words next to each other, right? "Bacon critic." It's up there with "strip club," "open bar" and "I'm buying." To heck with a salary, we'd do this for free.
The job description whets the appetite like the scintillating scent of cured meat when you wake up after a night of heavy drinking.
Our Bacon Critic can live anywhere in the U.S. and will spend a three-month appointment researching, writing about, obsessing over, and critiquing bacon...The Extra Crispy Bacon Critic needs to be opinionated and thorough in his or her research, and will be expected to eventually decide which bacon is the best in the country. Other qualifications include serious writing chops, an unmistakable voice, a sense of adventure, and an insatiable hunger -- for bacon.
We all love bacon (although maybe not as much as this guy), so we imagine the competition is going to be pretty tough. Don't let that discourage you, though, and make sure to give it the ol' college
If you're up for it and your heart can take the demands of the gig, you can apply with a "short essay of fewer than 600 words recounting your favorite bacon-related memory to firstname.lastname@example.org by June 24, 2016."
Good luck. And eat well.