Thanks to a pair of brewing legends, I can now drink all the beer I want, in one sitting and never get drunk. TRUE STORY.

In a recent interview with Esquire, Jim Koch, the brewing magnate/entrepreneur/founder of Boston Brewing Company (most notably maker of Sam Adams products) revealed that he is the holder of a secret that will remove the alcohol from your system before it enters your bloodstream and your brain.

Now at face value this seems to be some kind of trickery, a sorcery of the mind, but Jim claims it's true and that he gleaned this little secret formula from another master of the brew arts; Dr. Joseph Owades. Owades, another brewer-legend held a biochem PhD and a job in fermentation sciences at Fleischmann’s. Owades told Koch that ingesting a packet of Fleischmann's Active Dry Yeast before beering will metabolize alcohol molecules down into their origins; carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. The yeast contains the enzyme, alcohol dehydrogenases (ADH) that, consumed BEFORE you drink the beer, with break down the alcohol, basically doing the job your liver would do.

Koch says one teaspoon of the stuff (mixed with yogurt to flavor it up) PER BEER will do the trick.

So, depending on how much yogurt and yeast you can stomach in-between your beers, you can now guzzle bucketloads at your leisure, supposedly without fear of DUI (Disclaimer: Try at your own risk. If you get picked up by a cop, you're on your own, bub.)

or.... Waking up in bed with that one psycho chick.