What the hell is wrong with musicians?!?!?

That's as loaded of a question as they come, but what the hell is going on with Stone Temple Pilots?

Disclaimer: I've loved STP since Core was released in 1992. I was 13 years old and very impressionable. And they made an impression on me. I didn't pay attention to the nay-sayers who wrote STP off as a poor-man's Pearl Jam. The skateboarders had Pearl Jam, I had Stone Temple Pilots (I never could skateboard, so I had no business liking Pearl Jam).

The only Stone Temple Pilots that exists (in my cramped world) is the original lineup, and that (for better or for worse) includes Scott Weiland on vocals (and drugs...lots and lots of drugs).

Pictured: Stone Temple f#cking Pilots (Getty Images)

Now, as a musician with a band that's been around for a while (6 years?) and has gone through many (a lot) lineup changes, I get that musicians are a fickle bunch. Then again, I haven't sold millions of albums (or one, for that matter) nor have I played thousands of shows to millions of adoring fans. But I can't imagine going on as a group that has, that doesn't have the original lineup together, and yet still call myself by the original name (I'm looking at you, Almost Every 80's Band).

The non-Weiland members of STP did it right - at first - by playing with different singers under different band names (Talk Show, Army of Anyone...yes I know that A of A had a different drummer). But then something happened...Chester Bennington happened.

Pictured: a tool named Chester (Getty Images)

Chester fronts a band called Linkin Park. They suck. Seriously, it's whiny-electronic-screamo-I'm-40-but-I-still-hate-my-parents garbage.

And no Weiland, no STP.

That crapshow finally petered out a few days ago, which left (real) STP fans (me) hoping for a Mighty Joe Young reunion (Mighty Joe Young was STP's original name, until a lawyer for Chicago blues guitarist Might Joe Young called and said, "nah").

Nah.

Last night, Jimmy Kimmel staged another of his "Mash-up Mondays", and had Joss Stone singing with the former members of Stone Temple Pilots. They called it "Joss Stone Temple Pilots".

Cute.

Pictured: Stone Temple Pilots' only frontman (Getty Images)

No disrespect to Joss Stone. She's got pipes. But Robert DeLeo, Dean DeLeo, and Eric Kretz need to stop desecrating a sacred thing (to me) and move on with another band name. They aren't Stone Temple Pilots, anymore.

Here's the video from last night's performance. It's neat. But seriously, guys: retire the name until Weiland rejoins the band. He's bound to eventually need it.

Fancy hats are expensive.

Weiland forever.