Just who the hell is Miss Uzbekistan? That's the question being asked at the Miss World Pageant headquarters.

I can only extrapolate the scenario;

A tall, lithe, sexy, olive skinned brunette shows up at the "Official Hotel of the Miss World Pageant" (cuz we know there HAS to be one) with her bags, high heels, and a sketchy looking home-made sash that says "Uzbekistan" on it.

In broken Russian-tinged English, she declares: "I am Rakhima Ganieva, Miss Uzbekistan. I am here for contest. What room is mine to sleep?"

The front desk clerk, looking bewildered fumbles her keyboard for answers. Just as she is about to say; 'I am so sorry, miss, but you have no reservation', a big, hairy Russian in an ill-fitting black leather coat and yellowed teeth appears and drops a massive wad of money secured with twine on the desk.

I would imagine a room has suddenly opened up. Too bad, so sad Miss Canada, it's Motel 6 for you, honey. But wait a minute, you say. There was NO MISS UZBEKISTAN PAGEANT?!?!?!

Yep, that's what it seems, even though several websites and outlets actually published results, pictures and recaps from the 'event'. Why in fact, even the official MISS WORLD website announced her as a competitor. Only one problem, all official Uzbek sources seem to have 'erased' her from even vying for the title. According to Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty, they're even denying that any sort of pageant took place;

Both the Uzbek Culture and Sports Ministry and the national committee on women, contacted by RFE/RL's Uzbek Service, said they had no knowledge of Ganieva's participation in the Miss World contest. Nor, they added, does Uzbekistan even have a Miss Uzbekistan contest. Anyone laying claim to the title, they suggested, was clearly an impostor.

So what do the Miss World officials have to say about this interesting development. Nothing so far, as they probably have a bigger problem on their hands. They've had to move the contest at the last minute, because hard-line Islamists in the Indonesian capital of Jakarta have put up massive resistance claiming the 'pornographic' contest will disgrace the country.

In the meantime, enjoy her 'official' Miss World intro video, and just keep repeating to yourself; "NOT the Russian mob, NOT the Russian mob".