My Vikings Game Predictions, Quarter By Quarter, With Dave [VIDEO]

Last week my predictions about the game against the Bears was very close for most of it. Let's see if I can keep the streak going this week in the game against the Rams!

I really want the Vikings to win, but my crystal ball is telling me different...

Barry’s Predictions:

1st Quarter… Vikings 3, Rams 7.
Rams defense will be solid and hold us to a 3 point field goal. Rams will breakaway for big yards and get a touchdown for 7 points.

2nd Quarter… Vikings 6, Rams 14.
Rams will score a touchdown early in the quarter and continue to hold the Vikings to just a 3 point field goal after failing to score in the red zone.

3rd Quarter… Vikings 13, Rams 14.
Rams will get sacked and be held scoreless. Vikings step it up and finally score a Peterson touchdown for 7 points.

4th Quarter… Vikings 16, Rams 21.
Rams will dominate the quarter, holding the Vikings to a 3 point field goal while scoring a touchdown late in the quarter to win the game.

Dave’s Predictions:

Last week's bizarre happenings have left the Vikings in an existential quandary. Last week, they were able to beat the Bears, but the win came at a cost.

Their head coach, murdered in cold blood by former coach Bud Grant, is now dead. Gino Torretta has supplanted Teddy Bridgewater at quarterback. And Amp Lee is demanding a bigger role in the offense based on his heroics in last week's exciting win.

Rick Spielman has spent most time this week making sure that Lee, Matt Birk, Randy Moss and the other players the Vikings acquired through wizardry and voodoo don't run into their current selves, which would of course irrevocably change the course of history.

After Bud Grant refused the team's low-ball contract offer, Spielman was left without a head coach (the reanimation of Zimmer's corpse was unsuccessful). So the GM went to the only place he could on short notice- to Denny Green.

The sheriff is back in town, and he immediately goes to work on the roster. Calling in some favors he is able to bring back Wasswa Serwanga, Jimmy Hitchcock and Robert Tate to help the defensive backfield.

The Rams show up to play Sunday at TCF Bank Stadium, and head coach Jeff Fischer is furious, as the Vikings have clearly circumvented the league's strict Necromancer policy.

The first half is a battle, to be sure. In a storm of hail and lightning, perpetuated by angry gods smiting the Vikings for tinkering with the 'great plan,' the Vikings and Rams play to a scoreless tie after one.

However, before the start of the second quarter, FOX television cameras show a series of livestock trailers pulling in to the stadium's south entrance. When the gates open, a handful of half-ram/half-men emerge wearing full St. Louis Rams regalia.

These rams (or Rams) are huge- REAL HUGE. In fact each of them is six feet tall when on their own fours and half to weigh at least 300 pounds. Looking across the field, Adrian Peterson wets his pants and begins to suck his thumb.

The Rams destroy the Vikings in the second quarter to the tune of 17 points and over 200 yards of total offense. Todd Gurley, running behind an offensive line made of sick Ram-mutant-things, gains over 100 yards by halftime.

The locker room more closely resembles a MASH unit, with many players gruesome injuries too much to bear for most. Green retreats to his office to Google some stuff.

When he comes back a great bolt of lighting crashes in the sky, and a handful of real-life, old-timey Vikings emerge from the clouds, including Thor and Loki. This gives the Vikings the ammunition they need to win this battle of biblical proportions.

With the game tied at 20, the Rams line up for a game-winning field goal. Thor breaks through the line of scrimmage, screaming "VALHALLLLLA," and clubs Rams kicker Greg Zuerlien in the knee, which allows Minnesota to block the kick. Minnesota's Hitchcock runs it back to the end zone for the TD and Vikings win.

FINAL: Vikings 27, Rams 20.