I guess you could say that I’m a fan of “Pirate Culture.” I own a replica Captain Jack Sparrow hat that I wear on the weekends when I’m drinking with my friends. The allure of the life of a scallywag is undeniable. Sailing the open sea, drinking rum, and being as free as a bird sounds pretty grand.

Oh yes, it’s a pirate’s life for me. Being a Pirate is a lifestyle. Take it from me. When I was a kid I dreamed of being a Jedi. When I realized I couldn’t be a Jedi I decided to be a pirate. And when I realized I couldn’t be a pirate I decided I wanted to be the next best thing, which apparently is playing guitar in a rock band. Close enough, right?

If you’ve seen the "Pirates Of The Caribbean" series, you know that being a swashbuckler is serious business. Not just anyone can rock long hair and go on adventures. Well ladies and gentleman, now the most revered occupation of all time has been denigrated in the form of a musical.

Yup, you heard right. Singing pirates. Dumb… just dumb. Can you imagine Captain Jack Sparrow and his dastardly crew singing songs about how much they like spending time with each other while sailing a clean ship and returning stolen treasures to their rightful owners? No way.

But hey, if that’s your thing you can check out “The Pirates Of The Penzance” musical at the Park Square Theatre in Saint Paul anytime between now and March 25th.  Tickets cost between $25 and $60.