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Really, Feces Covered Cell Phones?

Do you know how many cell phones have traces of poop on them? 1 in 6. Look up right now. You see five other people? It's probably your phone. We all know why this is happening, right?

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Really, Texting While Driving?

This could pretty much write itself, couldn’t it? I can’t even believe that I still see this out on the roads, but there it was in black and white yesterday while driving home from work. Texting and driving and this jackass lady wasn’t even trying to hide it, even though it’s illegal.

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Really? Hillbilly is a Language?

I called my dentist's office last week to make an appointment. Seems like a fairly uneventful task, right? So, I make the call and a receptionist picks up. "Hello, blah-blah Dentist office, how may I help you?"

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Getty Images
Getty Images
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Is Kristen Wiig Leaving ‘SNL’? [VIDEO]

It looks like this is true. For all you avid 'Saturday Night Live' watchers you know Kristen has been a huge part of the show for the past 7 years. But even if you don't tune in to the live sketch comedy series, you more than likely know who Kristen is from movies like 'Knocked Up' and 'Bridesmaids'.

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Los Angeles Zoo
Los Angeles Zoo
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Guns N’ Roses Rocker Slash Reveals Love for Reptiles and Betty White

While you may know former Guns N’ Roses member (and current solo artist) Slash as a guitar god, we here at TheFW appreciate his love for our slithery, scaly friends. The rocker is a longtime fan of snakes, and at one point had over 80 of them in his home. (He gave them up after the birth of his son.) And as our pals at Loudwire recently discovered, he’s also a fan of everyone’s favorite Golden Girl.

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Really? No Dumb Questions?

I was at work the other day and I heard someone say, “There’s no such thing as a dumb question.” First of all, that’s such a generic thing to say to someone. And second, what? Are you frickin’ kidding me? People ask me stupid crap all day long! Here are my experiences:

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ModelMayhem
ModelMayhem
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Miss Universe Canada Contestant Banned For Manly Reason

The pageant’s organizers admit Jenna Talackova is a “real girl,” but won’t let her in their beauty pageant because the Vancouver native was born a dude.

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Really, People Hanging Out the Window?

So the weather has gotten much nicer, right? This of course is great in almost every aspect, except one thing. Warm weather means windows open in cars and windows open in cars means it time for jackasses to hang their arms out the window.

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mcfarlandmo, Flickr
mcfarlandmo, Flickr
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How Did a Sneeze Cut Power to One Minnesota Town?

You’ve probably heard of power-walking and power-napping, but how about power-sneezing? More specifically, power outage sneezing.

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Sandra Mu, Getty
Sandra Mu, Getty
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10 Clues You’re About to Be Fired

Times are tough and big business types are looking for excuses to reduce their workforce to preserve their ridiculous salaries, unnecessary bonuses and pure ivory staplers that only work with staples made of gold.

If you fit one of the following signs, it might be time to get your resume in order and feather dust your neglected LinkedIn page.

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YouTube
YouTube
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Watch Tiger Woods and Shaq Duel Martial Arts-Style

Using Kung-Fu to market a golf game? The makers of ‘Tiger Woods PGA Tour 13,’ Electronic Arts, seem to think it’s a good idea. EA has unveiled a viral commercial starring the basketball giant Shaquille O’ Neal and the game’s title master Tiger Woods. Dressed in traditional samurai garb, the two sports legends bow in honor before…well, you’ll have to watch.

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msn.com
msn.com
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That Tag Says What?!

The tag on the inside of a pair of Chinos has sparked some controversy - with good reason! What was meant to be a joke, is really not so funny if you ask me. I consider myself pretty laid back when it comes to jokes - I'm not easily offended - but when a sexist "joke" like this is put to print on something as publicized as a washing label, it's not ok in my book.

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