Autumn is an interesting time of year for me. Why? Because it has my favorite holiday, followed by my least favorite holiday back to back. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times – Halloween is the greatest time of the year, hands down.

I only get to show off my $700 Anakin Skywalker costume once a year, and believe me, I will continue to do so every year until I’m so old that I will have to make the transition into Darth Vader. Thanksgiving, by contrast, strikes me as an utterly meaningless celebration. “Hey, let’s all get together and celebrate that fact that our European ancestors stole an entire continent from the Native Americans by stuffing our face full of food and becoming morbidly obese!”

No thanks. Not to mention, we literally do the same exact thing at Christmas only a month later, except there are presents involved, which makes Christmas a far superior celebration (save the terrible music.)

Besides, is there really any need to have that many feasts crammed right next to each other on the calendar? I have a suggestion – let’s get rid of Thanksgiving and have another month of Halloween. We get to keep dressing up, watching scary movies, and eating candy. Life doesn’t get much better than that.