The Loon Morning Show Rundown: The Ugly Meter [AUDIO]
As heard on the January 14th show:
1. Man Sells Pee Poo Whiskey
Please tell us someone wasn't dumb enough to actually drink this stuff. Some dude in England was peddling bottles of Jack Daniels, but after complaints from people, cops ran the contents of one of the bottles and found the contents were not whiskey at all, but a mix of water, pee and poo. Here's an idea, go to a liquor store.
2. Brent's Birthday Call
Lucy's S.O. is celebrating a birthday today, so we decided to give him an early morning call, because who doesn't like to be woke up at the butt crack of dawn on their special day?
3. Good Looking People Eat for Free
A new restaurant in China is offering an unusual offer. Patrons have the chance to eat for free if they are deemed beautiful enough. Guests who feel worthy are taken to a beauty identification area where their picture is taken and then judged by a panel of plastic surgeons.
4. The Ugly Meter App
After reading the story above, we began to question whether or not any of us would qualify for the beauty standards that it takes to get a free meal. So, we downloaded the Ugly Meter App which scans your face the rates beauty based on the symmetry of your features. Surprise, we're all butt.
5. Ship Glitter Bombs to People You Hate
Everyone has someone in their lives they can't stand. Maybe it's a coworker that makes life difficult on the daily or the big man himself. Maybe a frenemy or a family member who's rubbed you the wrong way. Get some payback and ruin their day by sending an anonymous glitter bomb! For $9.99 a company called ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com will send an envelope full of the stuff and a nasty note on your behalf.
6. Kurt Busch's Ex is an Assassin
In random NASCAR news, Kurt Busch just finished going through a four-day hearing regarding a protection order filed against him by his ex-girlfriend. During testimony, we learned that she is an assassin. In fact, during one account, Kurt describes a time when she arrived back at their hotel in an evening gown that was splattered with blood and "other matter".