The posers and "people who have to work Friday morning" celebrated St Patrick's Day last weekend. For us Irish folk (I am part Irish, the Guinness-loving part), we celebrate when the fookin' day is here.

Whilst celebrating and pinching and fighting (hellooooo...IRISH), here are some things you don't want to hear while knockin' back a pint or nine.

  • Don't drink that. That isn't green food coloring in it.
  • Welcome to our dry St Patrick's Day party!
  • I know you're wearing green. I pinched you because I'm a pervert.
  • It's not a kilt, it's a skirt. And call me Caitlyn.
  • I wasn't sure which Irish beer to get, so I got O'Doul's.
  • We're out of Guinness!

And perhaps the worst of all...

  • Last call!
Tear in my beer...I'm drinkin' it anyway... (Getty Images)