WARNING: Your Poodles May Actually Be Rats, Sir. [VIDEO]
Let's begin by all agreeing that yes, miniature dogs resemble rats. Small. Yippie. Mean-spirited. Coveted by young Hollywood/Pop Stars. Immune to most types of nuclear radiation. But when rats begin to resemble dogs, well that's when the world starts getting weird and you realize that there are idiots. And they're everywhere.
Our tale (<- see what I did there?) begins at an Argentinian market, where buying and selling bred animals is apparently pretty common-place. There's this guy who is really interested in buying a couple of Toy Poodles. Now, this has already advanced him in the screwy department in my book. If you're a guy and you want to be known as the Toy Poodle guy, you've got a switch that's turned off in your head and you're just asking to be emasculated.
No, I take that back; not asking... BEGGING for it.
You can be sensitive, caring, loving and you can even dress like a gay guy, I. DON'T. CARE! But the minute you're carting around a pair of fluffy, white snippy dogs in your bag, you've got my vote for a lifetime in the pysch ward at St. Peter State Security Hospital. It's probably only a matter of time before you're rubbing your skin-suit with Oil of Olay.
Ok, back to the story; so this soon-to-be serial killer is looking around this dirty South American outdoor market for a couple of
dust-mops toy poodles and he happens across some other, even weirder (well he's breeding them right? SERIOUSLY SICK) dude selling them for $75 a pop. Elated, since they usually go for around $1000 each (RED FLAG! RED FLAG! RED FLAG!), he whips out the foreskin wallet and happily hands over the dough.
Now being the 'responsible pet owner' that he is, he takes them to the vet the next day to have them properly vaccinated (and probably to palm some animal tranqs from the store-room). Now this where things get HILARIOUS. The vet immediately says; "Umm, yeah. What you have here are Argentinian Ferrets, better known as the Brazilian rat. And they've been pumped up with steroids."
AHHH HAHAHAHA. The supposed toy poodles have more man-juice in them than their owner. OMG that's a good one. Well good news, soon-to-be-FBI-profiled guy, you've just jacked up your man-rating with us. You've got super-ferrets for pets.
Check out the video... it's all in Spanish by the way.