You done gone and done it. You caught yourself raising a child who thinks and acts like the entire world revolves around them. If they don't get exactly what they want precisely when they want it, they will burn the world down until they get it, post-haste. Great, now what?

Good news: you can reprogram your entitled brat. And step one is accepting the term "entitled" instead of "spoiled"...and probably limit your use of "brat".

How to Legally (and Ethically) Humble Your Entitled Child

Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash
Distraction is such an under-utilized parenting tool (Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash)
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Terminology does matter. "Spoiled" implies that it'll never get better. Think of a spoiled apple: is there a way to un-spoil it? Nope.

"Over-loving" also does not "spoil" a child. So don't think you have to be stingy with showing love for your kid. Showing a lack of love will do far more damage than showering your kid in love and joy.

Another note: there's a difference between your kid having an off-day/week and acting entitled. Ain't parentin' fun?!

"Im only 28. Parenting is great!" Photo by Luke Southern on Unsplash)
"I'm only 28. Parenting is great!" (Photo by Luke Southern on Unsplash)
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And don't be too hard on yourself if your kiddo is showing signs of entitlement. Just do something about it now before society has to deal with them.

How To (Legally) Un-Spoil Your Child

Step One: Do Some Self-Reflection

Ask yourself: "Self? Do I find it difficult to say 'no'? Do I feel guilty when I buy something for my child when I wanted to say 'no'?"

Be brutally honest with yourself...but also allow yourself some grace. And try not to be opposed to professional support (e.g. a therapist). This is for the best; for your child AND for you (and for society, in general).

Step Two: Get Away From Them Once in a While

Don't do everything for them if they're capable of doing it themselves. Encourage them and teach them, then let them figure it out from there (again, for age-appropriate activities).

Step Three: Set and Enforce Boundaries

Consistency is key. Don't show weakness! You'll probably hate having to let your child fail, but they need this. Acknowledge their feelings but Do. Not. Reward. Temper. Tantrums. Show empathy, but stick to your boundaries. Don't rescue them when they make a mistake or experience a setback.

Step Four: Make 'em Work

Age-appropriate chores are a good thing. The experts suggest a "when-then" routine: "when the dishes are put away, then you can read your book", for example. They note that you should keep the "thens" to regular activities instead of rewards.

I personally believe that chores can be rewarded (monetarily) at a certain age. Try not to pay more than what they'd make at a job.

Step Five: Don't Reward Them For Everyday Tasks

Rewarding anyone for the bare minimum is not going to help.

Step Six: Expect and Accept That This Won't Go Smoothly

They'll get pissed. They'll say horrible things to you. They're testing their voice's power. If you cave in when they get angry, they'll go nuclear every time.

Give them space to voice their feelings and frustrations (again: empathy) but don't give in. Avoid shaming them, too.

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H/T: Huff Post

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