Private Equity Firms Are Now Coming For Your Pets

Remember the pandemic? Pepperidge Farm remembers. A lot of bad things happened then (at least 1 ,191,632 really really really bad things happened), but one silver lining: we cleared out pet shelters. If you're gonna be stuck at home, you might as well have a companion.

The yin to this yang (because there's always a yin to the yang): private equity firms saw an easier way to drain giant stacks of cash from us by "investing" in pet hospitals and jacking up prices.

Life and Death Situations for Pets Equals Big Money for Private Equity Firms

A month ago, my girlfriend and I went through what most pet owners go through at some point: caring for an elder pet, who went from "doing just fine" to "absolutely not doing anywhere near okay" very quickly, and passed away. Stinky was the stinkest Stinky. This cat absolutely LOOOOOVED me, and I grew so accustomed to being connected at the hip to this fella that I'm still feeling a void in my life to this day.

We took him to a pet emergency hospital to get a professional opinion on his quality of life, and made the soul-breaking decision to have him put to sleep. Yes, I'm tearing up typing this.

This is where private equity firms see dollar signs.

The total cost of Stinky's care and eventual euthanization was in the thousands. We'll be paying it off for months, if not a few years.

It's So Bad That Congress is (and Has Been) Stepping In

Private Equity ~~Jerkfaces~~ Firms now own nearly 1/3 of all veterinary clinics. One particular Jerkface - JAB Holding Company - has already been ordered to divest its clinics in some places because they own so much of the market...twice. They've been ordered to do this twice.

From this Rolling Stone article: “Veterinarians at private equity-owned practices have reported being overworked and pressured to upsell patients on expensive tests and procedures. At some practices, corporate managers require clinicians to meet demanding quotas for certain procedures, tying their income to the amount of revenue that they generate.”

On top of basic services being more expensive, vets are being pressured to upsell even more services...when we're at our most vulnerable.

That's immoral, that's dirty...and that's today's Sign of the Apocalypse.

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H/T: Rolling Stone

Tip to Protect Pets from Summer Heat

With heat advisories in effect for a large portion of the country, now is the time to ensure you are prepared to keep your pets safe from the summer heat.

Gallery Credit: Kat Mykals