Snow doesn't burn, despite what your nutbag uncle daddy claims.

Remember a few years ago when a Kentucky genius made the national news by trying to clear his driveway of snow by using a freaking flamethrower? Despite your instinct to bellow, "HE'LL YEAH, BORTHER!"...a flamethrower is a very inefficient way to clear snow. Just hire the neighbor kid.

The Latest Dumb Way To Remove Snow

Police in Bellevue, Nebraska had to announce that snow doesn't burn.


It doesn't sound like anybody got hurt, thankfully. And as a (mostly) lifelong Minnesota resident, I get it: shoveling snow SUCKS. And that was before my back and hip prematurely aged.

Perhaps it was part of the reason behind the premature aging.

But gasoline - while flammable - still won't ignite when you dump it onto snow.

Gooder Ways of Snow Removal

-that money you blew on a flamethrower could've gone towards a decent snow blower

-make your kids do it

-hire the neighbor kid(s) to do it when your kids won't

-hire the neighbor when their kids won't do it

-just leave it and suffer until it melts

-you know what? Just buy a damn flamethrower. You're required by Borther Law to repeatedly shout, "HELL YEAH!" and, "MERICA!" while using the flamethrower.

I don't make the borther laws, borther.

GOBBLESS Photo by Good Faces on Unsplash)
GOBBLESS (Photo by Good Faces on Unsplash)


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