Baxter's Substandard Advice -- Relationships, Session 1

Having been married multiple times, I pride myself in being a semi authority.

Below are 5 helpful hints, guys in a relationship should know.

If she ever starts a sentence with "I just find it funny that.....", there is a 99% chance that she doesn't find anything funny at all.
Contrary to popular belief, the first year of marriage is not the hardest. The last year is much, much harder. Avoid it.
Never, ever get talked into taking a Cosmo Quiz.
Everything you say is commited to memory and may pop up in any future argument. There is no expiration date on this.
The amount of time it takes her to respond after you inquire "What's wrong?" is directly proportionate to the amount of trouble you are in.