Choad on Ice [VIDEO]

I don't skate.

Literally, I haven't ice-skated in 30 years. The last time I ice-skated, Halley's Comet was cruising past Earth and Richard Gere was defending gerbils.

Turns out, my family's new house is fairly close to an open-skate park. What better way to burn kids' energy than putting them in skates and turning them loose?

Then I put skates on.

No impact injuries occurred; although the ill-fitting skates I wore did a number on my feet, ankles, and everything. My wife could only stand to video me for twenty seconds, so enjoy!

Thomas Vanek's got nothing on me!