It’s National Cereal Day, So Let’s Fire Up a Bowl…I Mean, Pour a Bowl. There, That’s Better
Seems there is a special day for just about everything nowadays. Well, today is no different, it's National Cereal Day today. Yes, that magical day we all celebrate to great contributions to our lives that breakfast cereals have made. I pretty much grew up on the standards like Cheerios, Rice Krispies and the occasional block of Shredded Wheat. Later, though I despise how some cereals have bastardized themselves, I moved up to Spoon Sized Frosted Shredded Wheat. Good stuff! Actually, I used to also eat Grape Nuts. Man, it was like shoveling gravel through my system but Grape Nuts spokesman Euel Gibbons said it was a very healthy cereal and that was good enough for me. Damn if Euel didn't keel over from a massive heart attack. So that was it for Grape Nuts. never got into the over sugared stuff. No Count Chocula, Lucky Charms, Fruity Pebbles aor any of that crap we feed our kids but that's a whole other article. Here are some Cereal Fun Facts (and I use the term facts loosely) compiled by our friends at Wise Brothers Complete Sheet.
The Top Cereal Fun Facts.
People who only eat the Lucky Charms marshmallows are called "diabetics."
Even though the Trix Rabbit has no genitals, people assume it's a guy. Just like Justin Bieber!
Shredded Wheat is also good for cleaning your grill in the spring.
The least popular mascot is Fiber One's Pinky, the Squeaky-Clean Bowel.
Eating Cap'n Crunch is the closest Donald Trump has come to military experience.
To appeal to millennials, Tony the Tiger's catchphrase is now, "Theeeeey're MEH."
People who like it with vodka are me.
Tony the Tiger's red bandana is a gang thing.
Mike Pence thinks Toucan Sam's rainbow beak is gay.
In addition to being a delicious part of a balanced breakfast, Grape Nuts can also be used to cement shingles to your roof.
A huge percentage of the world's supply of wheat and barley is tragically used to make cereal instead of beer.
Charlie Sheen sometimes gets confused and snorts the sugar off of his Frosted Flakes.
Snap and Pop think Crackle is a d-bag.
Despite the manic meltdowns, Sonny the Cuckoo still has a longer attention span than our president.
You should never eat cereal with the same spoon you use for cooking heroin.
If you have a child under age two, you're legally required to carry a Ziploc baggie of Cheerios.
If a picture of Stormy Daniels in on the cereal box . . . you're eating PORN Flakes.
The term "cereal" comes from "Ceres," the Roman goddess of agriculture and things that get soggy in milk.