Johnny Umf’s Lame Attempt at a Joke (audio)

I always look forward to Johnny Umf's lame attempt at a joke, every Friday morning. I think to myself that this could be Johnny's big day and he'll deliver just a side splitting, hilarious joke and redeem himself once and for all.

Well, this morning wasn't that day for Johnny. Instead of a big laugh, I'm guilty of

I always look forward to Johnny Umf's lame attempt at a joke, every Friday morning. I think to myself that this could be Johnny's big day and he'll deliver just a side splitting, hilarious joke and redeem himself once and for all.

Well, this morning wasn't that day for Johnny. Instead of a big laugh, I'm guilty of

secretly enjoying Johnny's epic failure during his anti-comedic moment.

Judge for yourself....for those of you that can't listen at work or wherever, I've printed out the jokes below.

JOKE 1

Satan appeared before a small town congregation.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.

Satan walked up to him and said "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied "Yep, sure do"

Satan asked "Aren't you going to run?"

"Nope, sure ain't" replied the man.

Satan asked "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man replied "Been married to your sister for over 48 years"

Joke 2

Two friends were playing golf one day. They decided they would adhere strictly to the rules i.e. no mulligans,improving their lies, etc, After a few holes, one guys's ball landed on the cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief his friend said "We agreed that we would not improve our lie"

No matter how much the first fellow tried to explain that he was entitled to this relief, the second fellow would not allow it.

The man went to the cart to get a club. As he stood over the ball he took a few practice swings, each time scraping the clubon the pavement, taking out big chunks of blacktop and sending out lots of sparks! Finally, after several practice swings he took his shot. The ball took off and landed on the green about 6 feet from the pin.

"Great shot" his friend exclaimed "What club did you use?"  The man answered "I used YOUR 7 iron!!!"