Let's not kid ourselves: TikTok is trash. I mean, so is Facebook. And NotTwitter. The internet in general. All the promise of an Information Superhighway that just became a Sociological Cesspool.

It's hard to keep up with TikTok trends. One recent trend involved 'rawdogging' (don't Google that) a plane flight. The non-pr0n interpretation of 'rawdogging' means to spend the entire flight without satiating yourself with a smartphone/tablet/newspaper/book... anything traditionally used to quiet the intrusive thoughts. I have an hour commute each way, so I decided to give it a whirl. What's the worst that could happen? Read on.

Rawdogging a Commute

This meant no music, no talk radio, no audiobooks...nothing. Just me, my dumb brain, the road, and all of the unfortunate co-commuters. I decided to voice record my commute, because those intrusive thoughts need to get out.

Some highlights:

  • How did it get so loud in here?
  • Nice turn signal, a$$h0le!
  • Is that supposed to twitch so much?
  • A Mercedes sh!tbox. Nice.
  • Turn on your headlights, dumba$$!
  • Why won't my eye stop twitching?
  • This is usually where Ben Maller starts claiming that he won
  • That's a new noise...I think
  • That sounds expensive
  • Why did I buy this piece of sh!t?
  • Wonder if I can Grand Theft Auto that trailer if I go fast enough
  • NO. F#CK YOU, A$$HOLE!
  • The twitching. Just stop. Please.
  • That's a nice sunrise!
  • Hey Google what's the most efficient way to kiOH RIGHT I can't use that right now.
  • I should wake up earlier.
  • As if I don't hate myself enough already i ShOuLd WaKe uP eArLiEr
  • Therapy's expensive
  • HEADLIGHTS, [maternal fornicater], EVER HEARD OF THEM?
  • Ha. Brain'rd.
  • [parking at the station] Oof. Never doing that again.

Yeah. 0/10 do not recommend.

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