Rejected Mother’s Day Cards

If there is a special day that one should not forget, it's Mother's Day, when we thank mothers for all they do and put up with.  Here are some of the Mother's Day cards that were rejected, for good reason.  Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there!!

Dear Mom, you made my life heaven, even though I was conceived behind the 7-11

Mom, you are a great mother, even though you slept with Dad's brother

You've supported me since the day I was born, even though the money came from porn

Raising me had to be hard. I forgive you for chaining me up in the yard

Roses are red, violets are blue. We live in Alabama, so you're my girlfriend, too

No gift, I'm low on cash but feel free to help yourself to my stash.

Dear Mom, I love you every day. I even forgive you for driving Dad away.