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Best and Worst Trick or Treat Candy

Jemal Lewis/Getty Images Entertainment

I remember the days of trick or treating. The hot question was, “What are you going to be? Who are you going to go as?” I wasn’t as concerned with that as I was with “What kind of candy will I get?” Here are some of the best and worst candies for trick or treating.

First, the worst:

Fruit

Raisins, even if they’re covered in yogurt or chocolate suck. It’s not candy. Same goes for apples. Unless you want to get tee peed, you should not have these in your home under the guise of “Halloween candy”.

Good & Plenty

Blech. Black licorice tastes like ass and the bionic licorice inside G&P is unchewable and ends up getting lodged in your chest. The coating isn’t too bad, but it’s what’s inside that counts.

Necco Wafers

They’re fancy chalk. Period. Smarties also suck.

Popcorn Balls

If you want it to come back through your patio window, go ahead and hand these out. Otherwise; leave them at the store where they belong.

Now, to the best:

Candy Bars (Within Reason)

Snickers, Milky Way, and Three Musketeers are the best. Butterfinger, Twix, Kit Kat and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups come next in the candy hierarchy. The little Hershey bars with Krackel and Mr. Goodbar are OK. They aren’t the greatest, but if they were there and I wanted chocolate, I’d eat it. Mars Bars, Tootsie Rolls, Take 5, Baby Ruth, Chunky, and Payday I trade.

Generic Chocolate

M&Ms are number one in the generic chocolate pile, with the exception of peanut M&Ms. I like peanut butter, but not peanut. Those I trade. Next come Reese’s Pieces and Hershey Kisses. After that, I like Milk Duds and Rolos. Whoppers are OK, but I’d trade up if I could.

Fruity Candy

Licorice rules the roost in the fruity candy department. Period. Next, Laffy Taffy, but only the banana kind. Then come Starburst and Skittles. Jolly Ranchers and fruity Tootsie Rolls are never acceptable.

 

Suckers

Blow Pops reigned supreme over the suckers in my bag, except the sour apple. Then it was Tootsie Pops. Red first, then orange, blue and finally chocolate. Next came Saf-T-Pops and finally Dum Dums. The Caramel Apple suckers are alright, but I’d trade up for something else.

What’s Your Favorite Halloween Candy?

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