I’m going to let you in on a little secret – I like to drink. It’s kind of hard to imagine my life without the pleasure of alcohol. I’ve had some of the best times of my life whilst intoxicated, and I don’t plan on slowing down anytime soon. Needless to say, I don’t like wasting booze.

Alcohol can be quite expensive, and there are sober kids in China, so the thought of letting perfectly good booze go to waste is pretty disgraceful. Well it just so happens that Kelly Cordes of 98.1 Minnesota’s New Country (my mother) likes to throw people’s wine away. Let’s rewind to Friday evening.

I come home from a long, hard week at work having just purchased three bottles of wine. I really didn’t want to have to make another trip to the liquor store over the weekend, so I bought enough supplies to last me all weekend. I poured just a sip of one of these bottles into a glass to try it.

I’ll admit it – it was pretty awful, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have finished it. I polished off some pretty atrocious tasting alcohol before, so this was far from the worst thing that I’d ever tasted. Fast-forward to Sunday night.

I sat down with a recently purchased book, ready to enjoy my nice, peaceful evening. All I needed to complete the evening was a nice glass of wine to accompany me on my reading session. Well low and behold, my bottle of wine was GONE! At 10 pm I poked my head in Kelly’s bedroom as she was sleeping and politely asked if she knew where my wine was.

All she said was “uh-oh.” In that moment my heart sank. I knew she had thrown it away. But as a seasoned drinker, I knew what had to be done. I pillaged through the garbage and eventually found my sweet, supple bottle after 10 minutes of digging.

I washed it off with soap and hot water and proceeded to enjoy my wine throughout the remainder of the evening. I’ve never been dumpster diving before, but I suppose there’s a first time for everything.

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