Gobbling turkey (I will NOT apologize for that) on Thanksgiving is tradition. Haven't you heard? Where have YOU been? Weirdo.

Posers like to do things the "traditional way" by roasting a turkey in the oven for three days or whatever. I've never actually roasted a turkey, outside of some biting wit.

GOBBLE?! Photo by Ruth Caron on Unsplash)
GOBBLE?! (Photo by Ruth Caron on Unsplash)

Grease fires are no laughing matter...unless we're watching some a video of dumdum trying to put a grease fire out with water. Always a great time for the spectator. The helicopter parents at The National Fire Protection Association say that deep fryers unalive five people and cause $15 MILLION in damage every year.

That's the price of freedom funny online videos.

GOBBLOLOLOL Photo by Dani Adkins on Unsplash)
GOBBLOLOLOL (Photo by Dani Adkins on Unsplash)
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There are plenty of ways to f#$% up deep-frying a turkey. The most common are:

  • having too much oil in the fryer when you drop in the bird, causing an overflow of scalding oil
  • putting the fryer on uneven/unstable ground and the entire thing tips over

So what does the National Fire Prevention Association recommend for those who want deep-fried turkey for Thanksgiving? Go buy it - already fried - from the grocery store or a restaurant. Or use an air fryer.

An air fryer? That'll make your nutbag conspiracy-loving uncle thrilled! "Git them 5G chips outta my turkey! I don't want the gubmint listening to my stomach!"


H/T: The Takeout

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