It’s National Orgasm Day – Where Not to Celebrate in St. Cloud
For some, today isn't a big deal. For many others, July 31st is one of the biggest holidays of the year. Be careful about celebrating today at these places in town.
It's National Orgasm Day, a day that's giving couple a good excuse to make sure everybody is pleased. Keep in mind that it's not "National Orgasm in a Risque Place" day, as the St. Cloud area police may be on the look out in the following places.
- 1
Area Corn Fields
The corn stalks are tall and a good place to hide, but farmers can tell when unwanted visitors are in their fields. Better to stay away and not chancing a double-barrel shotgun aiming at your naked bum.
- 2
Crossroads Mall Parking Lot
Yes, there's a ton of cars to hide you inside your car. There's also constant patrolling of security and police, as well as cameras outside certain store entrances. They generally know when a car pulls in and nobody comes out for a while, and it's suspicious.
- 3
Van Down By The River
There's parks all over near the river. Wilson and Hester parks are heavily patrolled as well. Even though the view of the river is a natural aphrodisiac, it's very likely you'll get caught by a park visitor or police.
- 4
Public Library
It's been done and even though the videos on the internet make it look like nobody comes around that corner for over 10 minutes, it's highly unlikely. Even though you think the sexy librarian would overlook it, it's likely you'll get caught...and never be able to check out a book again.