TAKE THESE TPS REPORTS AND SHOVE THEM STRAIGHT UP YOUR ASk anyone about working in an office and they'll probably quote Office Space as a defense mechanism. Something something Mondays. yyeeeaaaahh.

How many of these have you broken, and how many more has that jerkface in the cubicle next to you broken?

Unspoken Office Rules You Should Never Break

Rule #1: Never Schedule a Meeting First Thing Monday or Last Thing Friday

Seriously: unless it involves gourmet coffee (Monday) or hallucinogenic edibles (Friday...or Monday) do NOT bookend a miserable work week with a miserable-r meeting!

Rule #2: Don't Complain About Everything All the Time

Constant negativity is both lame and infectious. Save it for (un)happy hour after work.

Rule #3: Keep Your Hands To Yourself

The Georgia Satellites nailed it, even if it was a much different context: other people's stuff is off-limits. If you can't ask first, U Can't Touch This.

HAMMER TIME! (Photo by iMattSmart on Unsplash)
HAMMER TIME! (Photo by iMattSmart on Unsplash)

Rule #4: Speakerphone is a Big Nope

Unless you have your own office complete with a closeable door, don't use a speakerphone. It's annoying AF in public, it's even worse in the office.

Rule #5: Being Stinky Stinks

It's not just body odor: super mega ultra pungent perfume/cologne is also unacceptable. If I can smell you an hour after you left the zip code, you're wearing too much. A little goes a long way, bud.

Rule #6: Beware the (Your) Communal Coffee Mug

If you leave your coffee mug in the kitchen, it becomes the office coffee mug. If you don't want that, leave it in your office/at your desk and hope everyone respects Rule #3.

Rule #7: Don't Nuke Fish

Don't microwave fish, or anything else that stinks up the entire building. Not only does it stink, but anything that's nuked after gets cross-contaminated with the fishiness.

Rule #8: Don't Be Too Efficient

Not only can it make the slower co-workers (side note: you can't them that. Ask me how I know) look bad, but it'll just set you up to get assigned even more work. If you're not busy, keep it to yourself.

Rule #9: Don't Extend Meetings

The everlasting meeting is finally nearing its end, and the boss asks, "Anything else?" KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. If you have something to bring up, do so on your time, not everyone else's time.

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H/T: Reddit

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