A friend of mine shared a news report video from Michigan this morning that had me rocketing to Snopes.com for debunkery. Much to my dismay, the news report, the plant and the horrific horror it spews from it's tiny plant pores is all too real.

It's called the Giant Hogweed (Or for all 3 of the plant nerds I know: Heracleum mantegazzianum) and it looks a lot like another slightly less noxious plant that's pretty common in our state; Cow Parsnip.

Apparently this satanic weed was brought over from Asia, where it is revered as a 'wonderfully decorative plant'. Of course it is, if you like being blind so you can't see it. Just some of the atrocities this demon plant causes is (and I quote);

"Phytophotodermatitis in humans, resulting in blisters, long-lasting scars, and—if it comes in contact with eyes—blindness. These serious reactions are due to the furocoumarin derivatives in the leaves, roots, stems, flowers, and seeds of the plant."

 

And if that's not bad enough, lookit at how fraking big this thing gets! Of course the vile leafy sight-stealer is spreading. The image at right shows the confirmed invasion of this hell-spawn and it's obvious we're on it's attack plan... AND it seems to have begun in and around Ontario.

 

God-dammit Canada.