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Really, Jerk Flight Attendant?

Unfortunately, summer is officially over, school has started and back to reality. I took quite a few vacations this summer and I could probably do an entire series on flying alone, but the one I’m starting with is a certain flight attendant I got to experience. Normally, flight attendants I’ve flown with are so over-the-top friendly that you want to pop your eyes out with spoons, but then this guy comes along.

We are just about to take off and have just gone through the rules, seats belts, etc. This flight attendant grabs the mic and starts to tell us how to open and close the bathroom door. Seriously, this went on for five minutes. “Twist the handle like this to get in and twist it again to open the door to get out. Close the door like this *gently closes it* and don’t slam it like this.” *Slam!* It was loud. The old lady in front of me screamed and pretty sure she crapped her pants.

He continues with, “Do not make a line at the bathroom door. So, you’re probably wondering, how will I know when it’s my turn because it’s all about me, me, me and the world revolves around me.” So this goes on for another five minutes and then it’s onto the cockpit door and how no one should open it because it’s not the bathroom door and this lecture continues on and on.

This was getting to be a lot for even me to handle and I could hear people getting restless and mumbling under their breath. It was pretty clear he was just a condescending jerk and treating everyone like they’re stupid.

After about 10 minutes people were getting really pissed so I stood up and said, “Never thought I’d see someone like you be a flight attendant.” And he asked, “Why, because I’m a man?”

“Uh no, because you’re a [bleep]hole.”

The bright side was I got to spend another night in Vegas.

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